Why, you may ask?
Birthdays are really annual reminders of time running out. Kinda like calls from the doctor to go get your annual checkup and screenings. And who likes to be reminded that they are one year closer to death?
With every passing year, I find myself wanting to go into hiding. What’s the point?
Everyone says happy birthday; you get the requisite cards and gifts; there’s cake, candles, and ice cream; the people you know feel so sorry for you that they make the perfunctory phone calls, blah blah blah, but it doesn’t make the knot in my stomach go away. I wonder how many of these people will be there in 20 years. Not many. And before, I would be sad about that. But not anymore. I’m learning that it’s all about quality, not quantity, because I can’t stand BS, whiners and drama.
I will be 38 in a couple of days and I’ve been spending some solitary time grappling with the outcome of some decisions I’ve made in the past, some good, some bad. And I want to wipe the slate clean, and I know this will come in time. I’ve made some incremental changes over the past year or so, and I’ve also decided that I don’t have to put up with someone elses bullsh*t just to be able to say I have friends, or family, or love, for that matter. I don’t have to. I just don’t. And I don’t give a crap who cares or who doesn’t.
I’m not bailing anyone else out. I’m not spending my money or my time on people who aren’t willing to work hard or get their act together. I’m not listening to other people complain about their problems when it’s clear that they aren’t going to do a damn thing about their situation. There’s a lot of “stuff” I’m not going to do anymore, and I’m willing to pay the piper for that.
This week, I’m turning the page. And I’m not going backwards, only forward. And I’m not really concerned about who is going to be there on the other side. I will be alrite.
So….will I see you on the other side? Or will you be left on the side of the road?
Have you made hard choices about love, relationships, family members that coincided with birthdays or other major life milestones? What were they, and what were the outcomes, good and bad? Speak your piece.
- Photo Diary: Virgo Birthday Time! (galadarling.com)
- Reflective birthday. Encore. (writteninc.blogspot.com)
- It’s Good to be a Virgo & I’ll Tell You Why… (deniseleeporter.net)