The Death of Relating, Or Why People Won’t Stay in Their Lane Anymore


Totem pole

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So I went on a Twitter rant earlier today because I reached a breaking point: I’m tired of people telling other people what they have to do when it comes to their relationship choices. 

Effin tired is an understatement…I really am ready to take a baseball bat to the next person who complains like this, and piss in the pools of all you people who think it’s okay to tell women what to do and what they need to resign themselves to accept in life. 

So you’re a beautiful, ambitious woman who has invested a number of years on her career. Now that she’s over 40, you wanna judge her based on limited information? Because you’ve concluded that she needs to get with the program?  It’s her fault that she can’t get a man who will be honest with her? It’s her fault that men juice themselves up, claiming to do and be more than what they really are, a bunch of lazy ass loser types who, despite their perennial loser status, feel that because a woman is over 40, she should be happy with that?  Eff that! 

My short answer: hell to the naw! And shame on you for suggesting, no, demanding otherwise! 

No one likes to be lied to. No one likes to be led down a dark and winding path to nowhere. And some men will cling to lies like poison ivy on a house, sucking the life out of a woman, just because he really has convinced himself that he’s more of a catch that what he really is. 

Stay in your f*cking lane. 

And this applies to women, as well. I’m not discriminating here. All you chickenhead clucking bottom feeders who think that men will put up with your drama and bullsh*t because you’re such a catch? Yeah, right.  Time has a funny way of leveling things out. 

Why don’t you go and find someone just like you and smack each other in the street, create a scene, get it out your system and go home and get it over with? Geez! 

It used to be that people knew and understood their limitations, their boundaries and stayed in their respective lanes. If you were short, you knew that you needed to get someone shorter. If you were fat, you were either faced with two choices to get a mate: you lost weight, or you found another fat person and kept it moving. At least you had something in common: the buffet line. Ugly people knew to get together; goofy people, likewise. 

But nowadays? There is a disturbance in the force that is pervasive and quite troubling. People lower on the evolutionary totem pole feel that they are entitled to the selection on the expensive menu. And damn you, you beautiful, smart, educated, ambitious person, for rejecting a bottom feeder. You must change your standards, and be happy with me and my crooked-tooth, no job, no-life having ass! Because no one else will want you…you should be grateful that I have come to save you from a life of lonely misery. 

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be alone and miserable than to be constantly reminded that someone is doing me a favor.
I don’t know about you, but all of these people are missing out on true happiness when they’ve allowed their self-delusion to convince themselves to put themselves out there like that in the first place. 

I’m not an ugly woman, by no means. But I’m also very realistic about *myself* and I wouldn’t lay a guilt trip on a man in order to be in a relationship.I wouldn’t lie to him because I have it in my twisted little mind that he needs me.  

 See, the word relationship has at its root the word “relate.” How can you relate to someone if the premise of your relationship is based on two lies: one, that one person had to misrepresent him/herself to another, and two, that the other person accepted the lies out of guilt? I don’t know about you, but there’s no relating going on in that instance. There is, however, a whole lot of delusion. And confusion.  And neither does a relationship make. 

This is how people get hurt. And that’s one of the principal reasons why there are so many hurt people walking around, ready to stick it to the next person, the same way it was stuck to them.  And the ones who aren’t hell bent on revenge are just scared out of their wits.  And the ones who are left?  They’re just waiting for the next best thing. I’m here to tell you. There is no next best thing.  It’s as good as its gonna get.  And the sooner we realize that, the better off we are.  

We average people need to understand that we live in a hierarchy.  To honestly believe that this hierarchy is that fluid is to honestly believe that I have a bridge to Brooklyn for sale.  Because the house lights will come on at some point, and the truth will come out.  And no one likes to be lied to.  

 I’m just sayin’. The madness has got to stop. Everyone is *not* a star; everyone is not that smart; everyone is not that beautiful or handsome; but there is someone for everyone. And if we all were a little bit more practical, more realistic about ourselves, more comfortable with our flaws, and saw the truth about ourselves, instead of asking someone else to buy into our twisted sense of the truth, maybe the world would be a better place, and maybe people wouldn’t be so afraid of putting themselves out there. 

I’m just sayin’. 

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4 thoughts on “The Death of Relating, Or Why People Won’t Stay in Their Lane Anymore

  1. But…but…everyone promised me I’d be rich, beautiful, even more rich, and marry a supermodel with a Nobel prize for chemistry! They promised! The biggest problem the media has created is this ugly two-headed monster that is an over-inflated sense of entitlement and an unrealistic view of what we should want.

    1. Yeah, I get that. But the thing that I marvel about constantly is that there are so many gullible people who fall for that media brainwashing crap, hook, line and sinker. I mean, when do we wake up and take a hard look at ourselves? How many of us really have what it takes to be rich, attract a supermodel, and understand what the hell somebody with a Nobel Prize for chemistry is talking about anyway? I know I don’t. I’m a regular girl, who was too lazy to get rich, and not very interested in chemisty. So to think I deserve all these great things when I’m not all that is ludicrous to me.

  2. The reason you can be rich, and marry a supermodel with a Nobel Prize is because you are special or so they have led you to believe. See what happened was some well-intentioned pop psychologists decided that in order build up people’s self-esteem, they needed to start telling them to tell themselves they were special. Unfortunately, they either neglected to qualify this statement or people just began to inadvertantly omit the part about being “special in their own way.” So now we have all these people walking around who think that because they breath, they’re “special” and everybody better act accordingly. Sadly, there are some that further assist in perpetuating the “special” myth by drink these people’s Kool-Aid. This is why as you stated folks think they are more of a catch than they really are or they think they can drive their Pintos on the Autobahn with the Benzs & Beamers.

    1. Wow, I’m special, sis?!? Way to go!! What the hell was *I* thinking? All this time I was thinking that I was a full-time loser. Lemme get my shit together then! I’m a winner…I’m special, and people like my sparkling personality! *skips away*

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