Hello to all of my peeps out there. I’ve been away from the blogosphere for about a week for a variety of reasons. It’s been tough having to unplug myself from my cell phone and computer, blog, Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook accounts…but what they say is so true: That what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And more aware.
I took some time to do some reading, studying and reflecting. While I’m pleased to report that all of these activities have opened my eyes to a number of things about my life, my relationships, my dreams, aspirations and hopes, I’ve also realized that I’m not built to sit around and wait for life to fall in my lap, that I’m a go-getter and I have to make some things happen in the immediate future. And the people around me have to be the same way. I can’t make this compromise. I tried, and it’s not working.
I trusted the words of people who presented themselves one way and turned out to be a shell of who I thought they were. It was a big letdown. Huge.
That has been a hard pill to swallow for me, because I never believed in the sentiment that the grass was always greener on the other side. In fact, I always laughed when others fell for the old bait and switch, vowing I would never do that.
But in a moment of weakness, I did. And I’m admitting that I made a grave mistake. I gave up my life for a new start. My life was far from perfect, but it worked and meet my needs.
And although I’ve grabbed hold of new opportunities, I did so thinking that I would be doing with someone who would have my back. Boy was I wrong.
And those of you who really know me, I don’t like to be wrong. I don’t like to be embarrassed. And I don’t like to repeat myself and I don’t like to be lied to. And I don’t like excuses being made to me because I don’t like to make excuses.
Well, nothing snaps me back to reality than the cold hard realization that certain things in my life aren’t working. At all. I’ve realized that if I continue to bury my head in the sand about these things, they will sink me for sure. So I will be working very hard to eliminate and/or change those things.
I’m not afraid to admit that maybe some of my choices haven’t worked. I humbly admit that they haven’t. And I’m also comfortable with admitting that the current state of things aren’t working. But I’m not one to sit back and wait for someone to give me something when I’ve always been one to go after what I wanted or needed. I had a lot of good teachers who encouraged me to not sit on my hands and wait for the pie in the sky to smack me in the face.
So as of today, it’s over. I’m done with just getting by.