Who am I? I would say if you asked 10 people who knew me, they would all say 10 different things.
I’m in my late 30s and proud of it. I move around a lot because I’m restless. I went to a Big Ten university in the Midwest. I am known to be a hard worker by my colleagues. To some, I am a loyal friend. To two special girls and a handsome young boy, I am a mother. I’ve loved and lost and somehow bounced back.
But despite all these labels, I really don’t know who I really am. This blog documents my journey toward greater self-awareness. It’s about doing the best I can, and when I can’t do anymore, letting go and keeping it moving.
I had an active imagination as a child. I pretended to take pictures when I was very young. Sometimes I used my Fisher-Price toy camera with the flash do-hicky that spun around. Other times, I used my ViewMaster camera. I always wanted to be behind the camera, not in front. It was too painful and a bit too vainglorious.
I used to watch my father snap photos. I wanted to be like him…I wanted to have a camera of my own. I thought he was something of a magician, creating memories like that. I got my first camera as an 8th grade graduation gift from my parents. I spent my allowance on film and batteries, taking pictures of everything and everyone I cared about and of nothing in particular. I didn’t get my first digital camera until well after my oldest daughter was born. And I didn’t get my first DSLR until recently.
Like photography, I write because I don’t know how to really do anything else. I started writing in 6th grade when my aunt Diana (RIP) gave me a blank journal in which to record my thoughts. I struggled during that time with boys, my changing body, my emotions, a new school, a new home, a new community…and with a simple gesture, she gave me the tools to help me sort all these things out. I’ve been writing ever since. I wrote throughout high school and college. I kept numerous journals, but I was never really self-confident enough to believe that I was good enough to write for an audience, which is funny because I was a pretty good grant writer for a long time…I guess that counts, yes?
At this juncture of my life, I photograph images and write to exorcise my demons. I write to connect with people. I write to disconnect from toxic, selfish, insecure people. I take pictures because it makes me happy and it helps me to sort out many of the questions that keep me up at night.
To summarize, I am a GenXer, former grant writer and project manager who became disillusioned with the pretentiousness of the world of work. I am provocative. Introspective. Passionate. Curious. I am an aspiring photog. I am a student of astrology and tarot. I am a blogger. I am in love with life, my children, music, tattoos and piercings. I will call you out on BS, which is why I was known as the bullshit detector.
I love interacting with new (preferably sane) people. You can find me on Twitter, or you can use the contact form to get in touch with me. I also have a Facebook fan page…please go check it out and click the Like button!